FlipSide:Starting June 10, 2002

The Flip Side

The Other Side Of Life With A PC Geek
Geek

Link

A journal of the trials, tribulations, and
triumphs in the life of a woman in the 21st century.

Last Updated : Friday, June 14, 2002 09:12 PM -0500

Home Current Week Archives NetWidows

Books Links Movies Music Recipes

Monday, June 10, 2002

« Monday »-·-« Tuesday »-·-« Wednesday »-·-« Thursday »-·-« Friday »-·-« Saturday »-·-« Sunday »
« Archive »-·-« E-Mail Me »-·-« Most Recent »-·-« TOP »

Tuesday, June 11, 2002

Wednesday, June 12, 2002

Well, I'm back. I have been really busy with work and all things concerned with the end of the school year. But, I have also been thinking. In the wake of the recent rash of young girls being kidnapped from their homes in California, Utah, and Idaho, am I putting my children at risk by keeping this journal online? Although John and I never specifically say where we live or what school the kids go to, let's be honest, in this information happy world, it wouldn't be hard for someone to find us. Heck, a friend of mine at work found a website with people's birth dates listed. And she, both her parents, and her brother were all listed. I checked, and I am listed under my maiden name and home town zip code. There is a lot of information out there for anyone who cares to access it. I always used to think that it wasn't that there were more freaks out there today, it's just we hear more about the freaks.

But now, I just don't know. Are we putting too many tools in the hands of predators with our massive databases and search engines and maps online? When I was a child (lo, those many years ago (Ed : if you think I'm gonna touch that one you're nuts -- jd)) if a child wasn't abducted in your immediate area, you just didn't hear about it. But that was before Adam Walsh and Johnny Gosch and Jacob Wetterling. All abducted and, presumably, murdered by strangers. Now, you hear about it on the nightly news. And on programs like America's Most Wanted. You can't get away from it. And that's not all bad. At least we can all be on the look out and try to rescue these kids.

As a parent, I have an obligation, a sacred duty, to keep my children safe from harm. Am I increasing their risk of being abducted by talking about them, by placing their pictures on the web, where anyone and his brother can view them? I don't know. I have discussed this subject with John and with other friends, all who think I am over-reacting to recent events. Maybe I am. But I do know that when I hear things go "bump" in the night, I don't just write it off as creaking floorboards anymore. I get up and check. I don't go to bed without looking in on both my kids and making doubly and triply sure my doors are locked. And if something wakes me up at night and I'm not sure what, I find myself making the rounds, checking the kids once again, to assure myself they are snug in their beds where they belong.

Am I paranoid? Maybe. But evil is definitely out there in this world. And it seems to be on the hunt for innocents. And I need to do my part to protect my little ones, who aren't quite old enough to protect themselves.

Now, normally, I take a "live and let live" attitude towards other religions. Frankly, I'm not sure there is "one true faith". Somehow, I think most faiths have at least a few pieces of the puzzle that is God.

But, I have to admit I do have a bias against the Christian Right. (I know, you are just soooo shocked.) I guess I just bristle at anyone telling me that if I don't believe exactly as they do, I am going to Hell. (Not to mention, I'm Catholic, so I already know I am going to Purgatory at the very least. Just bury me with an electric fan and a really really long extension cord.) I can't tell you the number of times I have been approached by a "missionary" of some fundamentalist sect who wants to "save" me. When I tell them I'm a Catholic (okay, so sometimes I use the term "papist", just to freak 'em out) they recoil in horror.

Then I read that the Southern Baptist Convention is at it again. They've gone and thoroughly stuck their foot, aw hell, their whole damn lower body, into their collective mouths and stubbornly refused to pull it out. The Reverend Jerry Vines, former president of the Southern Baptist Convention (SBC) made the following statement at a Pastor's Convention of the SBC.

"Islam was founded by Muhammad, a demon-possessed pedophile who had 12 wives - and his last one was a 9-year-old girl. And I will tell you Allah is not Jehovah either. Jehovah's not going to turn you into a terrorist that'll try to bomb people and take the lives of thousands and thousands of people."

The SBC has refused to denounce this statement. The Rev. Jack Graham, their current president, refused to repudiate Vines' comments. "His statement is actually a statement that can be confirmed," said Graham, a Texas pastor. "I believe the statement is an accurate statement," he said, adding that people should be careful, "just who you are following and what you believe."

(ed - hold on a second, let me tune up my banjo and see if I can find my upper plate. And get another shot of that moonshine uncle pappy made, woman. I swear, I can still see some blurry shapes moving out there... -- jd).

Idiots. And we wonder why people hate America. How do the SBC think they'd feel if some Islamic holy man described Christ as a middle-aged momma's boy with homosexual tendencies. Gee, that statement could be "supported" or "confirmed" too, depending how how one interprets scriptures. Morons.

It seems the neighbor boy may have a crush on my daughter. The 11 year old gentleman in question has come a-calling for her every day for about a week now. If she is not out in the yard playing, he's knocking on the door or peering through the fence to see if she is around. Rhiannon, of course, claims to be staying true to Alex, her one true love. (sigh)

In her words, "we are getting very close, Mom, but we're just friends." Well, I'm glad I don't have to break it to Alex that you may be throwing him over. But last night, she came up with the topper. "Mom," she says in a exasperated, condescending tone, "there is NO RELATIONSHIP." You know, I'm a bad mother. Right then and there, at the supper table, I laughed so hard that I nearly passed peas out my nose. Rhiannon gazed at me offended, while John slapped his forehead and demanded I make a doctor's appointment for him so he could get more blood pressure medication. And Jack just wanted someone to pass the milk.

(ed - and I'm looking for a new shotgun... -- jd.)

Thursday, June 13, 2002

I have received some feedback from friends regarding my concerns yesterday regarding child safety and the internet. Most assured me that being a good parent in a good neighborhood is the best prevention. Another friend, and a fellow posting mom was rather alarmed by my musings, as she hadn't really had those thoughts. (Somehow I just always seem to stir the pot, now don't I?).

Although I am NOT the optimist about human nature that she is (don't get me started . . . let's just sum up by saying I think human nature is basically BAD and GOOD people spend their lives fighting their baser impulses), some comfort is provided by FBI stats that show that most child abductions are committed by a relative, usually as part of a custody dispute, and are physically unharmed in the process. Only 200-300 children a year are kidnapped by strangers, and of that number about half are recovered. There is some comfort in this figure, but still, 100+ missing or murdered children a year is too many. All I can do is try to remain vigilant and pass on some of my distrust of human nature to my children.

While it is always nice to hear someone praise your parenting skills, truth is, I have good kids and some of that is simply born in them. I don't believe in the "blank slate" school of human personality. You can take 2 children, put them into the same household, and get two distinctly different reactions and two distinctly different people as adults. What I do helps create the people my children are becoming, but some of it is out of my control. (And, as you all well know, I don't necessarily deal with with things that are out of my control. And yes, for all his foibles, John is deemed, for the most part, UNDER MY CONTROL. At least that is what his mother thinks whenever he does something she doesn't like.) Of course, I do get to install their buttons and push them all my life. Now that some consolation for those dirty diapers.

Received a good Irish joke today.

Father O'Malley got up one fine spring day and walked to the window of his bedroom to get a deep breath of the beautiful day outside, and noticed there was a jackass lying dead in the middle of his front lawn. He promptly called the local police station. The conversation went like this:

"Top o' the day to ye. This is Sgt. Flaherty. How might I help ye?"

"And the rest of the day te yerself. This is Father O'Malley at St. Brigid's. There's a jackass lying dead in me front lawn. Would ye be after sending a couple o' yer lads to take care of the matter?"

Sgt. Flaherty considered himself to be quite a wit, so the rest of the conversation proceeded, "Well, now Father, it was always my impression that you people took care of last rites!"

There was dead silence on the line for a moment, and then Father O'Malley replied, "Aye, that's certainly true. But we are also obliged to notify the next of kin."

Somehow, I'm thinkin' that good ole Sgt. Flaherty was Orange Irish. You see, in my family, it was always said that your true Irishman thinks he's the most handsome, most intelligent, most witty, and most gifted of God's creatures and only one thing makes this conceit at all bearable.

He's right.

(ed - reminds me of a sales manager I once knew. I threw at him the quote "An Irishman is the only man alive who'd walk over a dozen naked women for a drink of whiskey." I'll never forget his reply. "Why not? They'll wait." -- jd)

Jack has decided that teeball is too slow a game for him. Apparently he finds the lack of (legal) physical contact problematic, although he has been known to tackle teammates in his haste to field the ball. We've tried explaining that tackling is in FOOTBALL, not BASEBALL to no avail (and you still don't tackle guys on YOUR team). To be fair, Jack isn't the only one with this problem, but he does seem to find standing out in the field waiting for a ball to come his way just isn't his cup o'tea. Too much like his mother, I fear. (I like there to be a greater risk of injury in my sports, you know, like football and hockey.) As he is too young for football (and he doesn't know how to skate), he will be signing up for soccer in the next round of team sports. (Up here in the great white north, he is apparently too OLD at five for hockey. Apparently they start these kids out in peewee hockey at about 3. At Jack's advanced age, I'm told he is too old to start. Harumph. I may yet see about bucking that idea. My son is fully capable of learning how to blacken someone's eye with a stick while skating at high speeds after a puck. In fact, I fear he may be quite a gifted defenseman.) His father, however, prefers more "contemplative" sports like baseball. (Contemplative is his word for it. Mine is boring. Not enough action.)

(ed - Well, she thinks chess is boring too... What? -- jd).

Rhiannon has decided she wants to play basketball and thus is signed up for the local fall/winter basketball league. Would you believe they do sign-ups for fall/winter sports in April?! Good God!!! I'm not even in summer mode and they want me to contemplate cold winds and snow! Sheese. Since Rhiannon had not generally shown interest in sports or much physical activity period, I jumped at the chance to sign her up for physical activity. I must admit I would prefer she play sports than be a cheerleader for them. However (sigh) I fear that she is the cheerleader type. I'm not sure where that particular gene came from, but I'm going to blame John for that one. Perhaps with the advent of gene therapy, we can have that gene eradicated from the species. (I wasn't your cheerleading type, can you tell?)

Friday, June 14, 2002

"The Republicans are coming. The Republicans are coming."

I could have used that warning this morning. I had forgotten that the Minnesota GOP convention is downtown St. Paul this year. We were running late this morning, plus it was "Doughnuts with Dad" at daycare for Father's Day (running late or not, there are some things you just HAVE to do), and John needed to get in at least 8 solid hours today, so it was decided that we would reverse the normal running late ritual and I would take HIM to work and I would drive to St. Paul. Big big mistake. Upon arriving in downtown St. Paul, I was cut off by a Saab, a Mercedes, AND an SUV, all of which appeared to be wandering aimlessly across lanes in their quest for the Convention being held at the Excel Energy Center. (A little hint guys, its the real big building on the corner of the MAJOR intersection of Kellogg and 7th Street with the bright neon signs reading EXCEL ENERGY CENTER and video boards saying "Welcome GOP Convention Delegates".) Then, after being nearly run off the road by cars that cost as much as my house, I discover they have taken all the cheap parking in downtown and I need to pay $10 to park for the day. Grrrrrrrr . . .

And, of course, I had to laugh that the party of "family" as they are so fond of calling themselves, is having its convention on Father's Day weekend. Somewhat ironic that. The concession they have made to the event is that they started the convention last night Thursday afternoon instead of the traditional Friday afternoon and will do the heavy work of blessing their nominee for governor today. They have a pretty close contest between a former Democrat business man named Sullivan (who, to prove his conservative credentials, has swung slightly to the right of Attila the Hun) and the conservative GOP Speaker of the House. Both men agree on most issues, basically pro-life, pro-gun, and pro-business (which is usually a euphemism for taxing the middle class instead of business and the wealthy.)

The Democrats, in their convention in May, nominated the liberal longtime Senate Majority Leader. Although a nice guy, he is an old time Democrat, as in if there's a problem, let's through some money at it and see what it does. When Jesse Ventura returns from China, (the state is in one of the largest deficits in history and he goes off to China to drum up trade. I'm not sure this is the best use of state dollars) he will announce if he is running for re-election. Frankly, with both parties having again catered to their more extreme elements, I don't see anyone beating Ventura. Hell, I don't know who I will vote for. I don't like Moe, he is too much of an old-time tax and spend liberal for my taste, and Sullivan seems waaaayyyy to patronizing in his ads ("this is my Can-Do list" for the state posted on his refrigerator in his $100,000 kitchen in Orono and he is going to tell the rest of us how to live) and Pawlenty is just as conservative as Sullivan, just not as patronizing. Frankly, Pawlenty and Moe couldn't work together in the Legislature this year, what with arguing about everything up to the color of the sky and the governor refusing to wade in and try to sort it out (or no, he had to lob insults at both sides and make it worse. Keeerist. Sigh. God help us, it looks like four more years of Jesse's antics. Maybe I can talk John into moving back to Iowa . . .

(ed - right, just let me finish reading the instructions on the home lobotomy kit here... -- jd).

Finally, a court victory for children. The Minnesota Supreme Court has ruled in favor of the welfare of the child instead of the adults involved. A biological father had sued to overturn the adoption of his child, as the mother had not notified him. In Minnesota (and several states), biological fathers can register with the state if they think they may have fathered a child with a woman, and, if said woman puts a child up for adoption, the state will contact the father for consent. This father did not register, he argued that he was in Iowa and she was in Minnesota so he couldn't register. The court ruled he could have reasonably assumed she may have come to Minnesota, as he knew she had friends and family here and registered in both Minnesota and Iowa.

FINALLY, the court has ruled that a child doesn't have to be uprooted from its adoptive family at the whim of it's biological parents. I don't mean to minimize this father's pain and desire for his child, but somewhere along the line in our society, we quit putting the welfare of the children first and started worrying too much about the birth parents. When a child is given up for adoption and placed with a family, we should be looking to uphold that family unless they are proven unfit, rather than rip that child from the only family they have ever know in favor of a birth mother who changed her mind or a birth father that did a "slam bam, thank you ma'am" a year before and now as a yearning to be "Daddy". I know, I am overly simplifying the situation, but damit, these people are ADULTS. They need to be looking at the welfare of THE CHILD, not their desires.

(ed - ah. CHILDREN look after the object of their desires. ADULTS consider the consequences. IDIOTS are when CHILDREN inhabit ADULT bodies. -- jd).

My birth mother didn't want to give me up for adoption, and my birth father didn't know (he was in Viet Nam at the time) but both agreed that they would never NEVER go looking for the child they gave up and disrupt her life. When I found them, they were thrilled. As Donna told me, even if I never contacted her after that first phone call, at least she knew I had grown up with a good life. A better life than she could have given me at the time. They knew, they were adults, they were better equipped to deal with the issues.

Where along the line did we forget that small children are to be protected, that sacrifices need to be made for the child's welfare? If you don't want the pain of giving up a child for adoption, it's really simple to prevent. DON'T SCREW AROUND. Or, if you can't keep it in your pants, take reasonable precautions. To put it in the crude vernacular for men, "Wrap that Rascal". Or, for women, take your damn pills, the same time, every day. It's just not that hard. I just get so very angry at court decisions that drag screaming children from Mommy to put them in a strangers arms, in the name of preserving the "family". Just what do they think constitutes a family?!

Saturday, June 15, 2002

Sunday, June 16, 2002

Disclaimer
Copyright © 2001 Ann Dominik. All rights reserved. Complaints about the technical details of this page can be directed to the abused geek who takes care of it for me, and is grossly underpaid for what he does, he thinks. No reproduction without written permission. The opinions and content of this site are my own, and not the responsibility of this site's host, my employer, my pets, my parents or anyone else you may care to blame. Please respect my opinions and I will do the same for you. I may on occasion publish e-mail to me; if you do not wish your mail to be published, please write CONFIDENTIAL or DO NOT PUBLISH at the top of the e-mail. If you would prefer to remain anonymous, please note that as well. If you're incapable of reasoned civilized discourse but feel compelled to correspond with me, I'll be happy to filter your mail out after a few choice comments regarding your ancestors, upbringing, and the likelihood of your family tree not